They call my generation spontaneous. Brave. Unafraid to quit, move, change careers, fall in love and fall out of it. But there’s one thing I think we’re actually terrified of: starting over. Not the cute kind, a new haircut and a new era. The real kind. Losing a friend you’ve had for years. Leaving a relationship you spent years building. Walking away from a job that pays the bills.

That fear keeps us in places we’ve already outgrown.

The same thing happens with work

You can wake up every Monday already exhausted, and know deep down the environment is slowly destroying your peace. Then you look at your bank account, and the toxic workplace doesn’t look that toxic anymore. So we stay. Another month passes. Then another year.

Why relationships feel even harder

Starting again means learning someone from scratch. New conversations, new boundaries, new trust. And sometimes familiar misery feels safer than unfamiliar peace.

The basket

James once told me about watching his grandmother make a basket. When the rounds went crooked, she didn’t keep going just because she’d already done so much. She undid a few rounds, went back to where things started going wrong, and did them again. Maybe that’s what starting over really is: going back to the last place things made sense, and trying again with everything you know now.

You’re not starting with nothing

You’ve already lived, loved and made mistakes. You know what kind of friendship drains you and what kind of workplace you don’t want. You’re starting with experience.

The biggest lesson

It’s okay to lose people, jobs and the version of your life you thought you’d have. Just don’t lose yourself trying to hold onto them.

Shortened for this prototype. Read the full article on convo.africa ↗